Lo!
The hour of Lunch is at hand!
Who is the God-Walrus, and What does He Want?!
The God-Walrus strides the world like a colossus, full of love and hunger for Mankind! He is Lord of the fabled beatific state that men call… Lunch!
But his Lunch is like no Lunch of this Earth! His minutes are like years, and his days, of course, are six of his own months long! By the puny standards of our mere mortal luncheon, he has not had his noonday meal in centuries.
But Lo! The God Walrus has revealed that on February 22, 2222 He shall rise, glance at his watch, and Lunch! On what will he Lunch? He hath not revealed this final mystery to us, but I trust completely in his wisdom.
The Most Holy God-Walrus, Defined:
Walrus [Wahl-rus] noun : A tusked mammal that lives up north and eats fish.
God [Gawd] noun 1 : An omnipotent being, who rules the universe. 2 : Singular of Gods. 3 : A vile oath.
God-Walrus [Gawd-wahl-rus] noun 1 : An omnipotent tusked mammal, who lives up north, eats fish, and rules the universe. 2 : The only fully bonded and licensed deity on Earth. 3 : Your best friend.